So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
