I want to make a zoo with you.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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