She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
