i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
