apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
ugly people sure do ruin things
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
