So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
