Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Randomize
