Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
