He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
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