she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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