After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
