I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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