i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
