my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
