My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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