I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
