I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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