I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Send help, water and tortillas.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
