piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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