i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
