I feel great
I just peed on a car
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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