apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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