I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
