Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
