Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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