Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
