Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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