I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
