new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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