Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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