paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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