how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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