i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
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And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
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We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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