You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize