Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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