i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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