WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
