Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
