..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
