she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
