I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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