We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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