I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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