I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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