id be glad to
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize