I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I would ride that face into the sunset
Randomize
