I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Randomize
