im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
