this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
