you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
