The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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