And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
