You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
