is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
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