So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
