I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Randomize
