Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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