How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize