Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Randomize
